Yankee Doodle Smelly

Imagine–people actually go to Yankee Candle to Have Fun. This blows my mind. I think of Yankee Candle in the same way that lots of my leftie friends think about Yankee Nuclear, as a toxic mess that should be shut down, now!


Do you smell that?

No? That’s strange, because I’m holding it right under your nose. Here, let me help you out by shoving it into your face. Oh, wait – the lid’s still on. One second.

By now, you’ve probably guessed that Wife and I are in a Yankee Candle on a Candle Huffing Date, which is a truly, truly remarkable guess. Great job.

The particular candle we are currently whiffing, “Marshmallow Factory Explosion,” would be about as subtle as a dump truck off-roading in the White Mountains to any mammal with a decent pair of nostrils. But since we are awkward, over-evolved humans, and not adorable basset hound puppies, the scent is just strong enough to elicit a meager, “Oh, yea…it does kinda smell like an exploding marshmallow factory. Heh. Oo, let’s try that one!”

I’m not sure why Candle Huffing is so fun.

Maybe it’s because my sense…

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