The Blazer Bather

Where in the blue blazers are we?


I’m not a fancy guy. I don’t “eat caviar” or “eat barbecue sauce without mixing it in a big bowl with ranch dressing” or “know how to spell the word Oprah.” But there is one fancy thing that I do: I wear blazers. Like, all the time. I don’t know if it’s the way they shape my delts’, latts’, traps’, tris’ and bis’, or if it’s the way they make me feel like a character actor hanging out at his modest-yet-handsomely-appointed beach bungalow. Either way, I like blazers, and blazers like me. In fact, I like them so much that I think everyone – men, women and children – should own at least one blazer. Why? Because wearing a blazer makes everything seem instantly more important. Have you ever brushed your teeth wearing a blazer? I have. And I felt like the President of Colgate (the toothpaste, not the school…

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